all of a sudden, it came into my head to do a nude for my last 365.
it is one of my studio rules:
"if you think of it, you do it"
(which is exactly how i got into this mess in the first place)
i only have 2 (rules), the other is:
"don't judge the process while you are in it"
since one of the reasons for doing this project
was to confront what it means to become a "woman of a certain age",
this feels appropriate and perhaps even necessary.
as the 365th day got closer,
it became increasingly clear how meaningful this project has been for me
and why it will be so hard to replace...
as many people reading this blog know
(are there many people reading this blog?)
daily practice is the cornerstone of my creative life
at this moment
i am feeling a tremendous pull
a real sense of something ending
something that is valuable to me
that i don't want to lose
i have been trying to identify exactly what that is,
what sets fastforward30years apart from my other daily work;
one factor is the (almost) daily writing (introspection),
but i have always had an outlet for that with my fotolae.
another aspect is that i have been able to incorporate monthly mini-projects
within the context of this larger one
(my favorites being march's diptychs and may's studio drawings)
but i believe
the true significance of this project
lies in using the self as subject matter.
no matter the medium,
i subscribe to the theory
that to produce something of value
requires a deep caring
and a deep connection,
and there are very few things in a person's life
that hold a greater or more meaningful position than the self,
that is why it is said;
all first novels are autobiographical
you can't love/trust/care about others
more than you have the capacity for those feelings about yourself
while taking a picture a day is a good exercise
taking a self portrait a day
forces you to continually engage with loaded subject matter.
if you compromise, you compromise yourself
if you take a short cut, you cheat yourself
and you are doing it publicly
i also believe that parameters are good for creativity
and the limits of "self portrait" have some inherent advantages:
for one thing
your subject matter is always available,
where ever you happen to be,
is that boredom can be a great motivator for taking risks;
& believe you me, nothing becomes boring more quickly than you
hence a great impetus for pushing boundaries.
you can apply just about any approach to the subject:
you can be yourself or you can be other,
you can be deeply personal or coldly objective,
you can create fantasy or describe reality,
you can take a strictly conceptual approach or flow with your emotions...
kind of perfect,
kind of hard to replace,
i have toyed with the idea of keeping it going for another year
and if my medium was solely photography, i might
but i feel i need to take what i've learned and move forward,
tomorrow i will post the next step in this journey