5.5.09 - 247/365

through the looking glass
a fairly consistent theme...
for a while i lived there
in a parallel world
that was very real to me
now,
i don't know how to get back
without losing myself completely

strangely
it's 5/5
& exactly 5 months ago
on 12/5
i prepared this diptych,
but didn't post it

4.28.09 - 240/365

something about these too:

3.31.09 - 212/365

so then i tried looking
i went to see a show
that a friend of mine curated
i was hoping
(again)
for that spark
to ignite something inside

it didn't
it left me feeling so derivative
even more detached
i am going to run out of tricks soon

3.30.09 - 211/365

so i do a lot of looking
and
i do some planting
then
i do some painting

i am still trying
i am still trying for connection
i am still trying for meaning
without these two aspects of the process
there is no joy, no rhyme, no reason

3.29.09 - 210/365

tried...

i've never had a time
when working in the garden,
planting,
getting my hands deep in the earth,
hasn't turned my head around...
where am i???

3.28.09 - 209/365

trying
to make something real

3.27.09 - 208/365

same place
different day
thinking about a lot of changes
putting them into place in my head
i don't need my life back
i just need my self

3.26.09 - 207/365

nothing dramatic
i am just tired of taking my picture
and i am just tired
(again)

3.25.09 - 206/365

part of another project

on the way to making this drawing,
when i had just drawn the skull,
i saw how my father's face was connected to mine

3.23.09 - 204/365

this has been grueling;
this camera decision stuff

i am not sure i was always this obsessive
when it came to making decisions,
i think that it might be renovation damage;
the feeling that every choice i make
i will have to live with for the rest of my life...

while this might be true for the 11' egg shaped green custom poured concrete counter
it is not true for a digital point & shoot

so i think i am going to keep the lx3 over the g10
even though there are some real "issues" for me:
it's slower changing between modes (on/off, viewing screen/playback screen)
self timer has to be reset each time you use it
the raw conversion system is a nightmare unless, i guess, you have cs4 which i don't
i am going to miss having any telephoto option
but...
it feels more like my camera

and i think the quality of the images is beautiful
and it seems gr8 in low light
and i am tired of playing this game

3.22.09 - 203/365

this is one of 2 new daily watercolor projects that i started this year.
this one will be 100 drawings that form a grid,
the other is daily individual pages that will be put in accordion book form.
i put these up today
because i needed to see evidence
of something actually getting done

3.21.09 - 202/365

it's 2 am and i am just finishing in here
even i can recognize obsession when i see it . . .
as i said on twitter:

like the fine line between love & hate,
i am beginning to suspect that
following one's bliss
&
needing a reality check
are closely related

3.20.09 - 201/365

why do i look like this???
why all the confusion???

because i am not happy with my new camera
i am not sure the image quality is beautiful
i am not sure that it matches up to my trusty s70
and
i am not sure i like feeling this way
:(

i have read that it's great in bright light
i think it sucks
and it's not really sharp
(softer a bit than the g9 apparently)
;(

update: http://imageresponse.blogspot.com/2009/03/g10-ests.html

3.19.09 - 200/365

out with the old
in with the new

now the reality is
there is very little,
well,
really?
no perceptible difference
between these two images
one from my old camera
&
one from the new

which i suppose
is why i stuck with the s70 for so long

there are a lot of improvements:
much better low light capabilities
anti shake
less shutter delay
but some clear issues
mainly involving file storage and work flow

that's technology for ya'

now why did i go with the g10 over the lx3?
ultimately i felt that i needed a longer lens
more than a wider one

and as far as the size goes
the lx3 is small
but not really small
so...

if i find that i am not wanting to carry the g10 with me
because it is too big
i will get one of the really good,
semi manual
really small cameras
there is a lumix
(it shoots raw)
&
a samsung
(no raw but that's what i have the g10 for:
shooting paintings)
that would do the trick

3.18.09 - 199/365

taking time from painting . . .
must make this camera decision
thankfully it's a beautiful day to ride into town

3.17.09 - 198/365

so tired tonite...

3.16.09 - 197/365

i wonder if
it's a good thing
or
a bad thing
if
you like your
brush tray & your painting rag
better than your painting

3.15.09 - 196/365

so this is the picture i took with the clamped camera
there is no rhyme nor reason for it
except that it was 2 AM

3.14.09 - 195/365

continued confusion

my faithful camera is REALLY going
it's got an electronic glitch and i can barely keep it on
i am still vacillating between the canon g10 & the panasonic lumix lx3
it's size vs focal length

the lumix is tiny, has gr8 low light capabilities but basically no telephoto
(it does go very wide, but that's not my thing)
it also has a scary magenta issue

the g10 is a little bigger than what i have now
:(
and that's an issue for me
otherwise it looks pretty solid

what's a girl to do????

whatever decision i make
(and i've been mulling over this for months)
it is going to have to happen very soon

3.13.09 - 194/365

still looking for answers
and
still confused