2.6.09 - 159/365

so i did it
after 10 days
(easily 7 of them with headaches)
i had a cup
i was supposed to stay off for 2 weeks
(along with no alcohol, spicy food, tomato sauce, orange juice & mints)
but it wasn't working for me
i was able to quit for about 4 months last year,
(albeit with a great deal of difficulty)
but that was b4 i was back in the studio

i honestly couldn't face another day so distraught
somehow
coffee counteracts that a bit
and even though it was only 3 more days
they are 3 studio days
and i honestly couldn't hack it
not after having waited so long to start working again

and the reality is
if i were to take "something" for my depression
it would most likely have some side effects too
so i'd rather self medicate with caffeine
as long as this weird fluttering thing in my chest isn't heart related

and i am glad to report
i had an easier day of it;
i didn't spend the entire day weeping