8.19.09 - 353/365

geek day today
no oil, just working on revamping my website
trying to figure out how to make this new thing (if you're interested) go forward

this stage of the WIP project is from monday,
usually by now in the process, i proceed intuitively from one day to the next;
the painting tells me what to do
but at this moment,
every day that i want to work
requires a journey to the place where i can hear that voice
just being in the studio doesn't do it
there is a whole internal realignment that has to happen
and that part isn't fluid yet;
each day it is still a struggle,
and that's just where i am at

8.14.09 - 348/365

all of a sudden
almost in spite of myself
there's a body of work
developing in the studio
and it does seem to have come from somewhere
tho,
i still don't quite understand
what's going on
but
i am kind of getting used to that

and still haven't figured out
why i am tracking this painting here
and if not here
where?

i suppose this is another question that needs to get addressed
by the end of the month

series so far

8.5.09 - 339/365

it seemed like a good idea at the time
but honestly,
not so brilliant

so yes,
rough again today
i had high hopes
i had bought new muslin to work with
i thought that would provide the thread
instead it kind of broke it
(no pun intended)

{sigh}

series so far

8.4.09 - 338/365

it's what i saw tonite
it's just what i saw

continuing with this new wip project

so the first step is white
make a blank canvas
so that i can begin to draw

series so far

8.2.09 - 336/365

it grew so dark
in the middle of the day
and it rained
and rained
and rained
seemingly
endlessly

i don't know where else to put this
i think it's part of a new project
that hasn't quite formed yet
so it goes here for now

even though this painting was started in my new studio
it is old work
and i am through with this for now
there are aspects of it that i love
but i see those things in too many other places
i used to like that
i used to find it a confirmation
as if i was tapping into a pulse
hooking into the collective
but i don't feel this way anymore
i feel it has become a way of seeing
a language
a response
that is no longer new
and
is rather obvious

i am looking for a new language
or
a new vocabulary
i am not comfortable with what i am finding
in fact
i am so uncomfortable
that each day i come into the studio
i have to start from scratch
retrace my steps
to find the thread of continuity
it's like having to start at the beginning of a book
each time you sit down to read
eventually you can skim those first chapters
because they are
after all
familiar
and perhaps it is just that
that continual repitition
that allows you to own it

but anyway
as i was on my way to saying
i am not comfortable with this new language
even though it is unquestionably mine
i have been using it for as long as i can remember
if i look around the studio
it is in the watercolors
the doodles
the oils
large & small
but i am not comfortable
yet i have no choice

so this painting
let's see
how it transforms
into the present
from where it started
as if it was 3 years ago

series so far