7.12.09 - 315/365

finally
finally
finally
back in the studio

for as long as i can remember
i have started every new canvas
by cleaning my brushes on it
building up layers
until i see something
and then i start painting.

today
i just started painting
i have no idea how long it's been
since i painted directly on a blank canvas

7.11.09 - 314/365

i've said this before,
it's not just the time i spend doing activities outside the studio
it's the time it takes me to transition between the head spaces each entails
the community work is really a killer in this regard
yes, the meetings, the letter writing, the website & the administrative work all take up (lots) of time
but the person i need to be to do this work and the energy level it entails
is the antithesis of who i am in the studio.
the environment of community work is charged with adrenalin, emotion, anger and extreme passion, it is loud & noisy and i become bullheaded, bossy and idealistic
going from this environment to the studio
is like leaving a firing range and then trying to hear a pin drop
or going from bright, bright light into a dark room and trying to see
it is physically impossible
it takes time to adjust
and there is no way of knowing how long it will take

6.13.09 - 286/365

nina the destroyer

it was an old project, a group of 16 12x12" encaustics
that really never worked
from a time when things weren't working
they were supposed to be a "song"
but it never "sang", the work just wasn't that good
it was only the saudedes of it all
that made me hold on to them
always thinking
that at the very least
they could be a base for something else

but no longer;
it was suggested to me
by my dear friend and accomplished artist: lisa
that one answer to finding my way back
might be to start at the beginning
with a clean slate

so i am going to try this,
try to put away the past,
put away all the things i brought out
to try to make my space familiar
to try to feel "at home"

and i am going to put away
the unfinished work
the unfinished projects
that i was hoping would jump start me into working again
it's a bit of a challenge
because some things that i am working on
truly are new
and need to stay

and it's a bit daunting
the thought of packing up
and putting away
all the stuff it took so long
to unpack
and have back in my life
but i know
that if you want things to changes
you have to change how you do things....

5.11.09 - 253/365

the simple reality is
that this is excruciating
it has been 4 months of trying
there were moments when i thought i had connected
but there simply have not been enough
i do everything that i know how
i work every day
i try to meditate and practice a tiny bit of yoga every day
i tried giving up a lot of my on-line obligations
i have made space for the garden
i have cut back on my community activities
i am reading for inspiration/enlightenment
i am taking fish oil & st. john's wort
i turn my paintings around
i paint them out
i sit and i look
i simply don't know what else to do
and it frightens me beyond belief

5.1.09 - 243/365

so
i decided to take a month
(that was april)
to get back to myself
it seems it wasn't long enough
i am not ready
i came very close to ending this project
i had such doubt again today
so
i am going to keep the flickr snaps private for a bit longer
and keep looking

1.5.09 - 127/365

entertainment is in art like color in pictures - martin kippenberger

thinking about the next random quote that i will paint from...

there's a new widget in the sidebar
it will display a different quote about art every day
it's part of a new project i am working on
one inspired by the creation of 1stfans at the brooklyn museum
this is a membership that will be completely web driven
all announcements about events & special opportunities to members
will be broadcast via twitter
and each month there will be a featured art piece based in twitter

this has inspired me to create my own project
or actually
expand a combination of projects
to fit this idea
(and maybe become a part of this whole thing)
i'll probably be writing about it more
and it will evolve
but basically right now it involves
1. taking a random quote as a starting point for my daily watercolors
2. tweet that quote
3. paint
4. tweet any thoughts while paintings
5. mobile message the paintings to flickr
6. tweet the urls
7. hope for some kind of response

we'll see...

and it's just like me to embark on another HUGE endeavor
just as i am getting ready to paint...

10.23.08 - 53/365

i was hoping to make a real fashion-y illustration
(think early warhol)
but i had to rely on photoshop

i much prefer my distortion in camera

in motion
:D

tights courtesy of Red Lipstick
my fav boutique in brooklyn
thanks staceyjoy*

9.25.08 - 25/365

some days
this is all i have in me

i am just too exhausted

(but i love my green floor)