8.18.09 - 352/365

still thinking about this distinction between
what "is"
and
the experience of it

it is interesting how this pertains to relationships...
when you are involved with someone
be it love, friendship, business, etc,
there is a point of connection
that the relationship gets built on
whether this is very deep
or
somewhat superficial
whether it has developed over a long time
or
disintegrated quickly,
when there is a break/a parting of ways
the tendency is to assume that the other has changed
or to feel a betrayal

but i suspect
that most often than not
it is neither of these things...

i am beginning to see life more in terms of perceptions:
you are on a path for your own reasons
as is the other person
these paths meet and start to intertwine
each assumes that the other shares this path for reasons similar to their own
and while this might be true
to some extent
or
for a period of time
this is often just a projection;
each has their own intention,
they just happen to look the same
in the context of a certain time & place
and that is very seductive
this feeling of "oneness",
of "sharedness"
but if one person veers off
even though they are simply following their own inner voice
it feels is as if they have changed
it is perceived as a betrayal

what is important to do in these moments
is to acknowledge the truth:
you meet someone,
you both like to run,
you both seem obsessed, in the same way
you become running partners,
you meet every day
you are both passionate about the routine
and all of a sudden, your running partner is off doing yoga
did they betray the relationship?
were they any less involved than you?
did something change?
no, no and no
you simply understood this shared experience of running
as a mutual commitment to this one activity
one that would continue
while perhaps for the other,
running was just one of many ways to train physically
while you were on your path to develop a single consistent regime
they were on theirs to develop within as many different disciplines as possible
but for a while the two seemed to be the same

constructs like this
help me to understand life's hurdles objectively
instead of always looking for what was at fault
perhaps it is more productive to shift awareness,
to see things in a different light,
to understand them
(and honor them)
for what they truly are
not what we wanted them to be

new project coming soon let me know if you are interested