1.31.09 - 153/365

there is nothing particularly difficult about my life . . .
except what's inside my head

something else from yesterday at moma that i liked:

1.30.09 - 152/365

i seem to have a lot of hoodies
which is nice in the studio
because there is a draft that i can't find
that goes down the back of my neck
when i do my watercolors

more images from the pipilotti rist show at moma:
the hand
with child
the tulips
the colors:

1.29.09 - 151/365

it was cold on the bike today

so not a surprising purchase
especially from a lover of split toe trainers
they're called lobster claws
:D

1.28.09 - 150/365

trying to figure out what to do next...

this is not like riding a bicycle btw
i am not sure what i expected
but i thought it would be easier than this
i guess the problem is
i don't want to pick up where i left off
but that's where my skill set leaves me...

where i ended up today color-wise:

(the painting)

1.27.09 - 149/365

with oski

switched out the snaps today,
the one below was going to be my main image
but headache aside
i couldn't post yet another grim face:

1.26.09 - 148/365

24 hours into a headache

on my birthday
i started another project as part of my daily watercolors;
i had noticed that
in certain journals
i was connecting my drawings
from day to day
so
for this project
i am making each daily painting
on individual papers
i will assemble the books later
accordion style
each book will go from the 15th to the 15th
and there will
(obviously)
be 12
i don't think the orientation will matter
initially i saw them hanging vertically
but they could be horizontal as well
this rewinds back
30 years

sneak preview:

(& 4 fgr & .Almost Faces: covered up! (molded?)[but seen...]

1.25.09 - 147/365

i feel as if i've squandered this day

1.24.09 - 146/365

i heart liquin

liquin is a painting medium
it has the consistency of a body fluid
and when an unused bit of it dries
it looks like amber

a shower of petals

1.23.09 - 145/365

something felt very romantic in the studio today
at least for a little while
then i became unsure
but i went over 2 large unfinished canvases from "b4"
i guess "preparing the ground"
in a way

studio 360

1.22.09 - 144/365

when i'm not here

i miss the studio

1.21.09 - 143/365

every so often
i make someone else's painting
i take it as a sign
that i've gained an understanding
on a visceral level
of another piece of what came before me

so i have made my still,
my kahlo
my de koonings
a pollack perhaps
a diebenkorn here and there
a klee
& a miro or two
among others

the other day
i kind of made
my twombly

1.20.09 - 142/365

so not about me today
:D

obamicon.me

i am sure i will have more to say later
but for right now
the fact that all over the world
people are united in hope and joy
creates the most amazing energy
and energy IS transformative

some of today's links from my twitter feed:
dreams of obama
the white house blog
text of the speech
karl rove tweets????

and my addition: the inaugural poem

1.19.09 - 141/365

so today i thought about "play"
i was a fairly serious child
and it was "work" that was encouraged in my family;
i really don't have many concrete memories of playing...

i didn't play sports,
i danced
(which can get pretty close to "work")
what i did for pleasure was read

today
(while tweeting)
i realized what part of all of this on-line activity is for me:
it is play,
i think it's fun,
it makes me happy,
and it connects me to myself
and that's good enough

i started my studio day
with every intention of having a good one;
the quote i was working off of was about beauty
but i was having none of it
and i got very sad

so
i had a cup of coffee
which rarely fails to lift my spirits
(i was supposed to have quit again today)
and i thought i would tweet about that
(coffee seems to be a very tweet friendly topic)
since twitpix was back up
and i had never used it

so i alternated between
the keyboard and the palette
and my spirits lifted
and i made progress

sidebar
strangely,
the cats have switched their spots
smudge doesn't move all day from my side of the bed
and oski is by my side all day in the studio,
he's looking up too

1.18.09 - 140/365

when i make work
i think a lot about the truth
that goes for photos as well as paintings
and it's really come up for me with this 365 self portrait project
because one has a lot of different truths about one's self
there is how you really see yourself
there is how you would like to be seen
there is how you think the world sees you...

this is only one of the ways i see myself
but it is most definitely a truth
especially after a day in the studio
when i have weathered being hooked up to
what i sometimes call
"the pipeline of grief"
and i am not particularly thrilled with the results

but this picture also causes me to question certain aspects of this "truth"
because it's a very harsh truth
and a very unforgiving truth
and a not very attractive truth
and whether i am examining
either myself
or
my work
(same thing really)
i seem to find
that more often than not
this is the truth that i feel is more valid

more valid than the truth of beauty
and of light
and of joy

about 3 1/2 years ago
before the move was a reality,
i experienced what it was like to work
from a different place
to honor play over frustration
to believe that you could take risks by pushing joy
as well as pushing pain
i am not sure exactly how i am going to get back to that place
but i think it would be a good idea
especially
because then i could stop taking pictures like this:

because i am thinking things like this:

"a painting about nothing, isn't anything"

sidebar
i already knew what i was posting, when i checked fgr for today
and lo & behold it falls right into place for profound photography

1.17.09 - 139/365

something said "gold" today


more flower power

1.16.09 - 138/365

after 4 months of this
i've come to accept
that unless i put on my "picture face"
(you've seen that big smile)
i end up
to a greater or lesser degree
looking somewhat dark and brooding
tho
i might not be

some birthday beauty

1.15.09 - 137/365

me at 52

i had a wonderful day
doing exactly what i set out to do

part of this is having no expectations
part of it is being able to risk "losing" a painting
these two canvases have been with me for years
on new year's day
the dark one was light
and the light one was dark

they've flip flopped like this before

over 3 years ago
for the same reason:
i find myself in a position where i just have to shake things up

1.14.09 - 136/365

paint on the floor is good
coffee on the floor is fine
but glue
is not

this is the only part of the process
that i really don't like
but it is the last step
in getting ready
for
my new years day
:D

tomorrow i will truly start work
tomorrow i will restart my life
maybe not pick up where i left off
but go forward from here

(more process)

1.13.09 - 135/365

he's a sweetheart
and
we play

my father would have been 80 today
i am older than he was
when he died

1.12.09 - 134/365

i like this kind of skewed perspective

especially after looking at things

in such a straight on manner

1.11.09 - 132/365

this is my little "office" that leads into the studio
the cleaning process hasn't exactly extended this far

and that little spot on my nose...
well that's the result of this tube cleaning process
the little shards of paint can hit with amazing velocity
but i am making progress
this morning
this box was full

1.10.09 - 132/365

blank

the first canvas i've stretched in forever


@bsamp:dexter?
no,
he wears gloves
lol
yes, still cleaning those paint tubes

1.9.09 - 131/365

i honestly have no idea why i thought to take this picture today
but i have only 2 rules in the studio
and one is
that when that little voice
tells me to do something
i do
period
end of story
and
it said to take this picture
it also said to start organizing and cleaning up my paint tubes