11.30.08 - 91/365

taking the image before this

not feeling too well...

infact feeling somewhat like this...

11.29.08 - 90/365

...

11.28.08 - 89/365

posting this one
because my mom liked it the best
and
even though he wants no part of it
i'm giving oski equal time

he hates this	just like yesterday except it's today

11.27.08 - 88/365

i think this counts as a smile

hope it was a happy turkey day for everyone

(well i guess not exactly for everyone)

11.26.08 - 87/365

for lucien who wanted a smile

turkey parts as promised

11.25.08 - 86/365

it's kind of all about the turkey for the time being

expect some photos of innards somewhere around these parts

11.24.08 - 83/365

today
but not when i was painting

some days are a giant step backwards
the only silver lining there
is the knowing what a mistake that is

today
when i was trying to paint

11.23.08 - 84/365

i am getting things ready for thanksgiving
getting the guest room ready for my mom to come
even though she hasn't seen the house finished
things are going to be VERY familiar for her;
she'll be sleeping in the bed and using the dresser from the house she just moved out of

i have the figure below
that she made maybe 45 years ago
so i put it on the mantle piece
and something about it struck me as being so similar
to some of the self portraits i've taken
(but not posted)
lately

i think my mother formed a figure in that position
because it defined "something" about her
and i think that "something"
is inherent in my body as well

and it's interesting to me
that these things from the past inform our present
in very subtle ways
it's comforting to me
when they reveal themselves

and i believe this has something to do with why i am such a pack rat
i mean,
she didn't keep that clay figure
i did

11.22.08 - 83/365

every once in a while i take a picture of myself
and the person i see in it
is my mother

11.21.08 - 82/365

and rewind 30 years

11.20.08 - 81/365

she (we?) are just starting to get to normal
smudge has been off her rocker since the day all the boxes came
not only was she unceremoniously shoved into the bathroom
for an unduly long period of time
(with oski, not sure that's a plus)
but boxes only mean one thing to her:
moving/disorientation
not settling in/comfort
and she has been anything but settled
so much so that
she hasn't even been sitting in my lap when i paint
(kind of a blessing because she makes it rather difficult
what with her tail swishing back & forth
like an unpredictable brush
and besides
she makes my legs fall asleep)

anyway
it took her a long time to resume position today

out takes

11.19.08 - 80/365

as boring as it might be
in the last few days
i have finally settled into what i had originally thought
i would be doing this month,
which,
for lack of a better word
is taking mug shots
what i guess i really mean
is following a more conceptual approach:
photo booth, white wall in studio, shoot
instead of an emotive or interpretive one
(now that i've said that
i'll probably stand on my head tomorrow)

to get that white wall back required a little shifting around:
I needed to switch the orientation of where i paint
back to where it was before i brought everything out from storage
so instead of looking at this:

i see this:

not that big a difference you might think
except that this:

is to my left
instead of being behind my back

big change on the inside
but you'd never know it from comparing the image above
(after the shift)
to the one below
(before)

11.18.08 - 79/365

morning has never been my moment...

be careful what you wish for...
so i accomplished what i set out to do yesterday
and the day before
and the day before that;
i went straight into the studio in the morning
and started working
consequently,
i missed a very important appointment

and i was extremely late for work
and it was the first cold day
and i didn't feel strong enough to ride my bike
so i need to take the dreaded subway
and the only up side to that
is that i can take pictures on the way
(and make myself even later)

11.17.08 - 78/365

i had to start to today again at 7 pm
it wasn't going so well . . .
so i stopped painting
took a hot shower
(used a lot of product )
and put on something comfy
yet a bit glamorous
(that belonged to my mom a really long time ago)
then picked up where i left off

this was part of why i was upset

no matter how strong my intentions
to do my watercolors and self portrait
during the light of day
it always ends up being dark
by the time i sit down to work
i hate this
not being able to put what is important to me first
and it makes me angry with myself

but i do like the reflection of my screen behind me

11.16.08 - 77/365

when it comes to porn
i'll take food over cleaning
any day

taken for fgr & porn for women


more food porn

&
what would have been

11.15.08 - 76/365

with quince...

the market was beautiful today
maybe it was the rain . .

11.14.08 - 75/365

that moment just before

feels a bit like

11.13.08 - 74/365

putting an interesting spin on "the mess"

(ok, that was totally lame but fgr did save me from another one of these and reminded me how grateful i am not to have vertigo anymore)

11.12.08 - 73/365

me & the mess

actually making some progress...

i can see large portions of the floor
and i've emptied a dozen more boxes

want to see what's in that drawer?


fragments of discarded paintings from many moons ago

self portrait from another time and place

from when i was printing on canvas in the darkroom, then stretching & painting on it

11.11.08 - 72/365

basically the truth


what i would prefer the truth felt like

11.10.08 - 71/365

i guess i am tired

but i do keep finding fun stuff;
the frogs are mostly from a collage i disassembled today
the playboy...
its in braille
i just find that kind of funny...